The stress of not knowing what life will look like after graduating is more stressful than college itself.
To be honest, I have no idea what my life looks like after May 2021.
Have a job lined up after graduation? Amazing. Preparing for more school? Also amazing. Moving out of your parents’ home? We love that. Unsure of what the future holds after you walk across the stage in your cap and gown? I’m right there with you.
The last few months have been full of a lot of comparison. It’s so simple to get wrapped up and compare your situation to the others around you. If you’re looking to gain a little more confidence in yourself and your career goals, I suggest not scrolling on LinkedIn.
I think we should all normalize not having life figured out after college. Lowering post-grad expectations would take the pressure off of so many individuals who simply don’t know what they want life to be like after college, or having an idea of what you want but having some difficulties along the way of getting there.
Did you know there is literally such think as post commencement stress disorder or post-graduation depression? They both have to do with “facing the task of choosing, changing or pursuing a career beyond the protective bubble provided by the traditional college campus,” as well as the “anxiety and stress from experiencing a mixture of excitement and fear of the unknown.” I’m not saying let’s all diagnose ourselves with either of these, but that’s pretty whack that something like this even exists and the pressure to be perfect is still somewhat encouraged.
Rejection is something that we all deal with. For many people who are in the same boat as me, you probably feel a little defeated getting denied time after time. Especially in the world today where life is still so strange, it’s even harder. In the beginning of the pandemic, 20.6 million jobs were lost since mid-March and the unemployment rate was 14.7%, which is double than the number of jobs lost in the Great Recession. We’re living through a historic time and the pressure still lives on.
Even though it sucks to be rejected, don’t ever believe that it’s anything personal about you. You will get to where you are supposed to be.
*cue cheesy quotes*
"It’s pretty incredible to see what happens when you start believing you are enough."
- Meghan Markle
"Personally, I've learned about perseverance: when you hear the word 'No,' and when you hear rejection, that it's not always final. And that timing is everything, and you have to stay the course and just keep working hard and know that, when your time comes, that it will be sweet and that it will be the perfect time."
- Angela Robinson
Also, make sure you are only comparing yourself to your past self. Not to what other students are doing, or what your friends or roommates might be doing, or to what your older siblings may have did -- just yourself. Your life is so much different from everyone around you and there is genuinely no purpose in doing so. People would think you're silly for comparing your fitness goals or baking skills to one of an athlete or master chef, so why is it necessary in this situation?
*cue tips that I came up with even though I have no idea what I'm talking about*
Have a plan, but stay positive
You have the power to make the most of the job searching experience, as well as the power to make it somewhat (emphasis on somewhat) enjoyable and positive. It may be helpful to settle into a daily routine and set measurable goals for yourself. If you set aside time to dedicate to tweaking your resume, or specific hours that you will spend applying to jobs, it’ll feel like less of a chore and simply a factor of your day -- kind of like how our perspective on going to class or work is overtime. If you set goals, such as applying to a certain number of jobs or emailing a specific amount of people, you’ll feel accomplished even in that sense without getting a message of acceptance into a job.
Those things might be helpful, but it’s also important to focus on the things you can control. You can control what skills you gain, how your cover letters look or what your achievements look like to employers, but you cannot completely control the response you’ll receive. The more you realize that you can control the things about yourself but not the actions of individuals, it may help you feel a little more content with the situation.
Minimize social media usage
I’ve found that in order to continue to feel motivated, I have to start my day on the right foot. If you’re someone who wakes up and immediately grabs their phone and starts to scroll on Instagram, Facebook or other platforms, I encourage you to try to limit that habit and start your day differently.
When people share their tips about waking up from their alarm and jumping out of bed, it’s hard to envision myself doing that. If you allow yourself to go on your phone in the morning, but not allow yourself to scroll on social media, you still give yourself the time to “wake up” but limit yourself from filling your mind right away with things that might distract you and prevent you from feeling encouraged. If you do this right when you wake up and right before you go to bed, you’ll eventually start forgetting about social media and likely won’t miss it. Boom -- another distraction is gone!!
Enjoy the journey
You have your entire life to work. Yes, it’s important to gain experience and use your education to help yourself progress in life, but take the pressure off of yourself that everything needs to be perfect now. If you’re working hard and trying your best to do what you can to help you progress in life, you are doing enough. Everything will eventually fall into place. Enjoy where you are now -- how young you are and how little you know. Your life isn't over.
If you’re like me and have no idea what your life looks like in five years and somehow also five months, I hope this reminder helped you even the slightest. I’m obviously not an expert when it comes to this thing, but I think I’ve started to realize that I can feel better about a not-so-fun situation by improving what I can do for myself.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk :')
Cover photo creds: https://www.pinterest.com/yobabyem/_created/